My name is Matt, and I work as a smokejumper in Missoula, Montana. While I am a smokejumper, that title sometimes feels limiting, because there are so many more aspects to my life. From a professional standpoint, I am a firefighter and have been so for 24 years. I have worked in numerous aspects of fire, including on an engine crew, hotshot crew, helitack/rappel crew, and, as a smokejumper. I have been fortunate to have other experiences in fire as well. I have worked as a Regional Coordinator (Crew Desk, Assistant Aircraft Desk, Assistant Equipment Desk) and as an IA dispatcher.
I recently had the chance to participate in a Leadership Program within the Forest Service called the “Roundtable” program. The Roundtable consists of several staff rides, exercises, and discussions based on leadership, culture, and most importantly self-development. As part of that program, we analyze various events, with the help of instructors from both the Forest Service and the Military. It is a program meant to challenge individuals to lean into the difficult truths of what it means to be an authentic leader.
As I sought to participate in this program, I looked hard at some common issues in the fire community and wanted to share my perspective on them. These issues are difficult to discuss, but have a deep impact on our community. My experience has given me a broad perspective on fire—allowing me to understand similarities and subtle differences between all of the various positions and roles within the fire community. As part of that perspective, I have come to understand common challenges for firefighters and am aware of the self-defeating cultural constructs that are devastating to individuals and to the fire community as a whole.
If I have learned anything over the course of my career, it is that people are people. You meet the same folks in a dispatch center as you do on any fire-line. As humans, we all think that we are special and unique and, while that is true in certain respects, it is untrue in others. We are all the same, more or less, and we all share the same common goal. We all work hard and do our best, and we give whatever we can give to the team and to the mission. I have learned that the most important thing in fire is to take care of your people.
Recently, I have also learned that individuals need to make sure that they are putting themselves first, too. This is a newer concept to me. Up until recently, I have always thought that the team and the mission came first. However, I have learned that, without the individual, the team and mission will fail. There is also a misconception that to put oneself first is a weakness and selfish. I have been humbled in learning that putting oneself first is not a weakness or selfishness, but necessary in order to be strong enough to give all you can to the team. You can’t offer others much help, at least not in a sustainable manner, if you haven’t worked through your own problems first.
I would like to offer the fire community my story as a firefighter and the lessons that I have learned throughout my career.
I am very grateful and lucky to work for the Forest Service. It has been a place where I have found value and purpose, but I recognize that there are also many blind spots. Within the fire community, I believe there is a lack of recognition regarding the importance of mental health and community, as well as a minimization of the destructive nature of unrecognized issues of addiction and alcohol use. There is also a misconception within fire culture that it is a weakness to recognize and to act regarding your own mental health. There is no doubt that there is a strong community that is present on a crew during fire season. However, we grow and strengthen our community by emphasizing to crewmembers the importance of building their own communities and support structures outside of the fire season.
Humans need people around them to maintain healthy connections at different levels throughout their lifetime. It doesn’t matter whether you are an introvert or not. People need positive relationships at appropriate levels that match their personality traits.
When it comes to alcohol, I have seen it used to build crew bonds and to recover from stress after long assignments. It is used as a tool to speed up the “reset process.” It also gives people permission to talk on deeper emotional levels, without judgment. (Example “I love You Man” conversations). I realize you can’t cure deep rooted societal issues all at once, but what we can do is to ask the question to individuals. Do you rely on drinking too much? Do you rely on drinking to feel like yourself? Does drinking affect your sleep? Does drinking affect your relationships? Has your drinking increased overtime or is it slowing down?
I think these questions are important to pose to our people, as we try to tackle larger issues such as mental health.
I believe mental health is at the core of many issues we have in our culture, as it is viewed as a sign of weakness. In reality, it takes the strongest people to ask for help when they need it. In my own experience, I happened to get help because I was running out of options. During the summer of 2023, I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. After discovering and working through some of my challenges I began to rebuild. I am now 45 years old and am in the best shape of my life, body, mind, and soul now that I have confronted my mental health.
Part of my mental health journey has been to address my addiction issues. I chose to quit drinking almost 4 years ago. I know that for some there is a time and place for drinking. And I know it creates strong bonds with people who find it difficult to express themselves or share emotional thoughts with buddies unless they are “buzzed.” I also know that drinking allows a person to decompress rapidly before they are off to the next fire assignment, which is very effective when the only word you know is “Go.” However, I have also realized the destructive nature of drinking and the toll it takes on relationships and the ability to process emotions. I have found that working through mental health challenges and addiction issues in healthy ways actually makes it easier to create emotional bonds, allowing for deeper relationships.
Additionally, there are many healthier methods to decompress, including meditation, working out, eating healthy, music, books, breath work, consistent sleep, etc. These are learned skills and can be a challenge for people to seek and/or share.
When it comes to building communities in the off season, I believe it has improved my overall health. Recognizing the importance of community and striving to make positive contact with people and things I care about has created a deeper sense of meaning and helps me feel more connected.
I believe that addressing the combination of all three issues–mental health, community, and addiction—can have many benefits across our fire community.
Unchecked and unknown, these issues have increased the suicide rates in our fire community, as well as depression rates, divorce rates, and overall burnout. I also think these things impact our community in ways we have not even fully recognized. How many injuries and accidents are the result of chronic stress and poor mental health.
On their own, these things are very harmful to an individual’s life and, built up upon one another, these things have the potential to create dangerous situations for other people, and for the fire community as a whole.
In conclusion, I feel compelled to keep sharing my story with other people, because it was a very powerful realization for my own life. Taking ownership of my story allowed me to be able to start living the life that I wanted to live. Talking about these issues can have untold benefits down the line. We each have the opportunity to invoke real change for ourselves and the fire community as a whole. The answers may be different for each of us, but we are the only ones that can find them for ourselves. And we can only find those answers if we ask the hard questions.
Check in with your people. Talk to your friends. We’re all in this together.
If you are struggling with your mental health or would like support on your wellness journey please reach out to the Wildland Firefighter Foundation for 100% confidential support. They have education, tools, tips, resources and will offer personalized one on one support to help you.
Contact:
Eric Brocksome
Wildland Firefighter Wellness
208-336-2996
Wellness@wffoundation.org
Wildland Firefighter Foundation Mental Health Program
